Revving up a lady’s engine is not as simple as putting your foot on the gas pedal.  In fact, it is the complete opposite.  The complex journey to excitement is riddled with a multitude of variables that must be approached in just the right way.

The good news is there are two common elements:

1. Her skin – the largest organ
2. Her brain – the largest erogenous zone

Without getting all scientific, the nerve endings in her skin relay messages to her brain. So your job is to get messages to the brain in a respectful way. If you go straight for the areas you are just dying to touch, you will create road blocks and messages will not get to her brain. See where I’m going now?

Let’s say you are going on a date. You don’t have to wait until you see her to “touch” her. Get out your phone, text her and let her know that you are looking forward to seeing her.  If you know her better, you can be more specific about your intentions. Either way you are building her anticipation and you have already started her engine. (Ever sexted before? We’ll save that for a future post…)

There are definitely some conduits to her brain that will get her going. Typically you hear about the nape of her neck, ears and lower back. These are proven sensitive spots that give her tingles, goose bumps and the feeling of closeness that she wants. But everyone is a little bit different, so you need to be present and observant to pick up on subtle cues. You have to look, feel and listen for reactions to your touches to ensure that you are touching her hot spots.

Tip: While she is flirting with you, keep a close watch to the parts of the body she unconsciously touches, like her lips, ear, hair. This is a good indication that she likes having those parts touched by someone else too.

Now’s the time to get tactical.  Here is a suggested order of operations to rev her engine to racing speed.

1. Touch her forearm This is an innocent starting point and in most cases it is exposed with easy access. Look at her eyes and continue a conversation to gauge her reaction. If she pulls away than stop. If she leans in or “speaks” with her eyes, keep it going.

2. Play with her calf Rub your calf or shin against hers – classic footsies. Again, this is an easy access spot that can almost appear as an “accidental” touch.  It also allows you to continue to gauge her reaction.  If she pushes back or creates a stable place for you to maintain contact things are heating up.

3. Hold her hand The hand and fingers have an express lane to her brain because they are meant to feel things. Touching her hand gives you great sight lines to her face so you can monitor her reaction.

4. Touch her back between her waist and her shoulder You are getting closer to the assets you are dying to touch but you are still in her safe zone.  If she pulls you in, with a kind of half hug thing, you are golden.  A pull back and give me space reaction is a “slow down mister” sign.

5. Kiss her cheek slowly Her face is sensitive.  Regardless of your position (in a hug or sitting beside her) a kiss on the cheek is safe and can be really sexy if done slowly.  You can migrate between her ear and her mouth in a slow motion in either direction.  This will build anticipation if she wants more.Now you are at a critical 3-way crossroad.  You could go for her ear, move lower to her neck or go for the full Monty – her lips.  So proceed with caution if you are still not completely sure of her reactions.

6. Kiss her neck This is somewhat safe because your head naturally goes here during a hug.  You are now well positioned to migrate to her ears if she starts to give you the opening.  Listen for signs of approval since your ear is near her mouth as well.  She may even reciprocate… pay attention!

7. Kiss her on her lips You have two choices here.  You can just go for it and kiss her.  And really kiss her if you do (10-15 seconds minimum).  Or you can ask her if you can kiss her.  Both moves are solid but asking her gives her control and shows her respect.

8. Kiss her ear Kiss her ear, but be gentle. Kissing her ear after her lips may make her want you more.  If this drives her crazy (moaning, breathing changes, or lines like “kiss me again”)… do what you are told!

Remember men, this is just a guide.  Everyone is different!  Look, feel and listen. Gentleman, start HER engine!

About the author Paul Abdool is a thought provoking creative writer with the panache of an old school gentleman.  He is a former pro beach volleyball player, current world traveler and a dad that acts like a kid.

 

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