Real Men Eat Salad
When’s the last time you walked into a restaurant and told the waiter you’d have a salad? Probably when you were thirteen and still trying to ‘find yourself’ and thought that was normal behavior for a guy your age. Eventually, you realized that the only people who eat salad are women on first dates and women on diets. I mean… leaves in a bowl, right? Rabbit food.
Who chooses vegetables and spinach when there are bacon cheeseburgers, steaks, nachos, and ribs to be had? No self-respecting man, that’s for sure. Well, I hate to burst your carb-fueled bubble, but maybe we’ve been missing the big picture here. The truth about salad is that it has a ton of hidden benefits that are actually kind of awesome and it makes you feel good.
Here are four reasons real men eat salad. We’ll also explain how to make that rabbit food a little more appealing (nom, nom, nom).
1. Look Better
Want to look better without ever having to workout? Dreams are nice. But seriously, switching out a big plate of wings and beer for salad and beer can clear up your skin and help you lose weight.
Salads are full of this little thing called fiber, which helps you feel fuller longer after eating. Unless you’re entering a Hungry Man competition, you’re going to eat less once you start feeling full. Tada! You just lost 10 pounds and your skin is clean and clear (you might not care, but women do).
2. Prevent Diseases
Fruits and vegetables help fight diseases and even lower your risk of cancer. Turns out your mom wasn’t just blowing smoke when you were a kid. You really do need to eat your fruits and vegetables.
Mix cauliflower, broccoli, celery and mushrooms together in your salad. Use vinegar and Italian dressing to top it all off. It’ll taste a lot better than the average salad and help prevent life-threatening diseases. Studies show that even those who smoke and drink heavily have a lower risk of developing head and neck cancers if they eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. And Mushrooms have known antibacterial virus fighting powers. Good for those who ‘forget’ to wash their hands before every meal.
3. Cheat Death
Do you know who else is a loyal salad advocate? Old age and nursing home staff teams. People aged 60 and older who eat certain ingredients commonly associated with salads face reduced mortality rates. Turns out the Fountain of Youth is a bowl of salad.
Add olive oil and your favorite raw vegetables (it’s a time for experimenting) for the best results. Some good fats like avocado and nuts are also awesome salad toppers. See? Keeping your body young and healthy is actually pretty easy. You know what they say: “A salad a day keeps the undertaker away.”
4. More Sex
Sex is the one thing men love more than bacon cheeseburgers, steaks, nachos and ribs. Did you know that spinach salads are good for your ticker? And what’s good for your ticker is amazing for your sex life! The secret to more sex, better sex and longer sex just might be that salad before dinner.
Spinach and green vegetables like broccoli and cabbage are loaded with folate, the sex nutrient (a.k.a. everyone’s favorite nutrient). It increases the blood flow to the – ahem – places that count and gets you even more pumped than usual.
Ok, ok. So, maybe you’re not going to skip $2 wing night next Thursday in favor of a spinach or raw vegetable salad. Unless they invent a salad where the main ingredient is bacon, no one expects you to live on the stuff. But the next time you go out to a restaurant, go ahead and order that salad, man.
And when your friends make fun of you for your girly rabbit food? Just tell them you need your strength for the night you’re about to have with the woman at table five.