Manpacks’ Compendium of Useless Advice no.1—Water Pistols at Dawn with JJ Lee
JJ Lee is a man of many talents and in this Compendium of Useless Advice Manpacks will plumb the depths of JJ’s ephemera by asking JJ questions he has been dying to tackle. Consider it a Compendium of Dubious Answers…and our lawyers note that taking JJ’s advice on the following matter is technically inadvisable.
Super Awesome Bonus Freebie! Add your comment for a chance to win a copy of JJ Lee’s The Measure of a Man: The Story of a Father, a Son, and a Suit from Manpacks this Father’s Day.
Manpacks: What do you do in a water gun fight if someone approaches you from behind (1)?
(1) Oh crap!
JJ LEE: So glad you asked!
The biggest mistake in a water pistol fight is to pivot your watergun in a horizontal arc (2). It takes too long and your squirter won’t be on target until the entire maneuver is complete.
(2) Don't do this. That's what 'No' means
Instead…throw your water pistol down and backwards (3)…
(3) The secret is in the wrist
…Doing so forces your super-soaking sidearm to travel on a vertical arc and it will align ON TARGET sooner. Note, it will be upside down. Rotate your wrist and pivot on your feet (4)…
(4) Do not hold water pistol sideways like a gangsta
Your right foot will be in the lead, or Southpaw Weaver Stance.
If this is uncomfortable, line your left foot up to your right if you prefer an Isosceles Stance.
Congratulations, you got the drop on your sneaky—now wet—rear attacker (5).
(5) Go ahead: make my day
May the driest man win.
Guest blogger JJ Lee is a menswear columnist, essayist, and the author of The Measure of a Man: The Story of a Father, a Son, and a Suit. Often, people ask him for advice on matters of style, memoir writing, and the pains and pleasures of fatherhood.
Because his heart-breaking, critically-acclaimed memoir deals with all three topics, he often tells people, quite rightly, to “buy his book.” Actually, you could win a copy of JJ’s book simply by commenting on this post below. That’s how awesome we are around here.
Tags: attack, humor, JJ Lee, manpacks advice, super soaker, water pistol
Who knew?
Love the illustrations, annotations, and more critically the”
Do not hold water pistol sideways like a gangsta”.
But what about proper water bullet kill shots? Eyes first and then chest, or is it best to soak the underwear region to ensure socially induced stigmas and humiliation that will follow the fight (e.g. winning the war)?
Thanks JJ!
Why do gangsters hold their guns sideways?http://www.quora.com/Gangsters/Why-do-gangsters-hold-their-guns-sideways
All I can think about is this scene from Date Night: http://youtu.be/BShV44MRUY4
Nice illustration